I haven’t dug into the archives to see just how many times I have written about aparigraha over the years, but this is not the first. Or second. Or fifth. Often translated as “non-greed” or “non-possessiveness,” the Sanskrit word, when broken down, has a prefix that negates what follows: “to take or seize from all sides.” You might think of aparigraha as not taking more than you need, and you would be right. That is a great practice. You might also think of aparigraha as the opposite of “taking from all sides”—or letting go.
As much as we are conditioned to cling at all costs, even a reflective pause reminds us that the nature of life is change. Nothing lasts. There is nothing for us to hold on to, really. And every time we grasp at what is impermanent (which is everything), we set ourselves up for suffering. While the pain of loss is unavoidable, suffering is optional. Whether we are clinging to an old or limited identity, relationships that take more than they give, or worn-out beliefs and possessions, all of that grasping takes an extraordinary amount of energy—energy that could be better used elsewhere. We’ve all seen it in a loved one (or in the mirror)– the desperate attempt to hold on to something that has passed: a youthful appearance; a former version of a relationship; a much-cherished identity. What we don’t realize in that moment of clinging is that holding on is exhausting. There is weight to the past, to what has already moved on. Freedom—and possibility—only exist on the other side of letting go.
How do we begin the process of letting go? Perhaps we start by understanding that it’s an act of faith, not just an idea or attitude. It’s not passive. We cannot, unfortunately, wish away our attachments. There’s a necessary shift that must take place—one in which we pause long enough to recognize what we are doing. And in that moment (and over and over again), to consciously choose to unclench our fists, our minds, and our hearts and trust the process. Living in the moment is living in flow. And living in flow is truly living.
It’s easy to deceive ourselves that we have more when we are collecting, grabbing, or holding on tightly– that we are safe and secure. But the very best things happen when we let go—when we exhale, relax, release, allow, unclench. When we embrace those actions—those choices—we open up to receive. I’ve been in a loop of trust – surrender – trust – surrender for a long time now. I know for sure that only in letting go that we can move forward, grow, and accept the gifts that are always coming to us. When we release what was, we actually make space for something new. And what if the something new is better than anything we can imagine when our hands and minds are busy trying to grab what was?
Maybe this is a moment for you to reflect on what you’re holding on to or where you might be grasping from all sides. How is that choice impacting your health, your life, your loved ones, your untapped potential? How is your clinging taking up space and preventing you from welcoming in something new and wonderful?
Start simply. Let go of tension in the body. Watch the release of the exhale. Focus on the blessings of the here and now. Declutter your space, your calendar, your mind, and see what opens up. What might be possible if you unfurled your fists and trusted the flow and the process of letting go?
Blessings.
Jill
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